Listen to this post:
This is a PSA about non-disabled people referring to disabled people who hold a job as “overcoming their disabilities.” Please don’t.
That’s really the whole PSA. But if you want elaboration and context, please read on! I did an online search of “stop saying overcoming disability,” and I still just got inspirational quotations about overcoming disability and how exciting a prospect that is. That makes it hard to recognize not everyone feels this way.
When a disabled person makes it in the working world and still has their disability, this is because they surmounted barriers like disability (along with other types of) discrimination or found an accessible type of work or got appropriate accommodations. Keep in mind that some disabled people don’t work because if they do, they’ll lose their benefits. But just because you have a job doesn’t mean you suddenly don’t need supports and services or that you earn enough to pay for them yourself and pay your rent and maybe eat every day.
For my blog audience who might want to use me as their yardstick of what’s possible after traumatic brain injury (and any of the other disabilities I have, which you might not know about because I hide them from you), I’m not a very good yardstick. How am I able to accomplish as much as I do with this medical history while others don’t? My privileges coming from a white, well-off, educated family. The advantages that come with my TBI and other impairments not being life-threatening, but anyway, I have great insurance and access to very good, albeit ableist and emotionally draining, medical care and rehab. My stress reduction that comes from the “berg” being lopped off my last name so the anti-Semites don’t even know I’m Jewish. The wonderfulness that comes from being able to get to and pay for transportation, the Internet, and to use written and spoken communication so that peers, friends, and resources are always right at my fingertips. Have I overcome my disabilities? Eh. I’ve recovered a shit-ton from most of the impairments I’ve had, and you also can’t feel the constant pain in my body. And if you had any idea how many people I call and email to get help on a regular basis plus how many mistakes I make, deadlines I almost miss, interview questions I forget to ask even when I’m looking right at them….
Don’t conflate health-related recovery or improvement with overcoming. Don’t view passing or masking your disability as overcoming. Don’t mix up being successful with accommodations and access with overcoming. Don’t forget that while some people are busy praising the amazingness of the disabled people who manage to break through, not everyone does, and it’s not their flaw. Overcoming challenges is different from overcoming disability. The first is a necessity; the second is sometimes impossible. So, let’s work together on the first one.
8 responses to “A PSA about overcoming”
Well put.
It applies for other disabilities basically the same way: I write, but only because I can, and I choose to spend my pitifully small amount of energy on my novels – because I have something to say. I share with you the constant-pain problem – and such fun symptoms as brain fog.
We do what we can DESPITE our disabilities, not because we can magically overcome them.
Thank you so much for sharing, Alicia! It’s a gift to be able to funnel the energy we have into things we want to do. I’m glad that you’re writing. Sometimes I feel I accomplish things despite disability, and sometimes I feel I accomplish things because of it or with it. No matter the relationship, like you said, we are not going to magically overcome them. So, please stop making that demand! How about making things more accessible and welcoming!?!
The watershed moment was publishing my first book – with absolutely no special help from anyone (except my wonderful beta reader and my amazing cover mentor).
Once you get the first one published, you KNOW you can. Up until that moment you are hoping you will be able to. It’s a huge step.
But I have looked high and low for any help that might be available, because, you know, I’m SLOW at all the publishing and marketing stuff – and there has been none I can find.
I’m of two minds about help because you’re disabled. One, it would be nice. Two, the last thing we need is to create more inspirati0n p0rn – help always seems to come at a disproportionate cost.
So I guess I’m glad I did it all myself – and I love the reviews.
But I’m still dismally slow.
Congratulations on reaching that watershed moment! I’m totally with you that the inspirati0n p0rn is always a danger, as I was one time called an amazing filmmaker by someone who hadn’t seen my film. She only learned that I’d had a TBI, and that sold her that my film must be an amazing accomplishment. And yes, asking for disability-related help can be tricky. Everyone needs some kind of access or help at some point, but somehow, if it’s related to a disability it’s a bad thing. I’m a fan of interdependence. We all need something sometimes and can all offer something sometimes, and let’s just all do that.
Slow, dismally slow, or not slow, keep on keeping on. I’m sorry it’s so hard to find help and glad that you’re published!
It is so patronising to be patted on the head because you managed to do something – like make a film! – that very few people ever manage. And yet everyone, able or not, can use those hands up the ladder when they are offered, so sometimes we just shut up, smile, and take it – instead of biting that hand off.
Other times, well, we bite.
It’s always good to be able to not bite the hand that feeds you but also be ready to bite when necessary. 🙂
I know for a fact I would not be writing a mainstream trilogy of novels with a disabled main character (of the three main characters) had my life gone a different way. I SEE very personally that society boxes disabled people, limiting what they are allowed to be. From Pride’s Children (paraphrased from memory):
“A cat is allowed to look at the Queen, Kary.”
“But a cat is not allowed to want to be Queen.”
I CAN. At great cost in time and energy, and by not doing almost anything else, and very slowly. But I can write novels – and I will as long as that it true.
Many others simply can’t – and we lose their art and their stories. I owe it to us, as well as to me, to try.
But, for me, it has to be as good as if I were not disabled. I will compete on the big stage on the merits of my writing – or not at all. And in fiction, nothing else. Because this is the one thing I can still do well.
Each of us makes that choice. Daily. And I would not disparage anyone else’s choice – because we need all of it. We need personal stories, poetry, essays, editorials, blog posts, non-fiction – any way we choose to be heard. Just like the able folk.